Archive for August, 2010

It was a cold, dark night. I looked at the window and saw heaven shedding tears. I hugged myself tight as the directed its coldness on me.The pitter patter of the rain reverberated in my head, as lost images resurfaced…

She was there, sitting quietly beside him. Gently holding his hand as she listened to a modern pop song that reflected her emotions – happiness and sadness. Happy that the most-awaited event was about to come, and sad that he was about to walk away. She looked at him and he did the same, he smiled, but mirrored in his eyes were sadness he wasn’t able to contain. Then he looked away, as a tear from his eyes would stab her heart. They remained that way, until he had to leave. He went down the car, she walked him towards that big gate, all the while he held her hands. He then turned to her and dropped his bags, looked at her eyes with grief, and kissed her one last time. He turned and marched towards that door, wiped tears from his eyes, forced himself not to look back and feel the pain. She, on the other hand, turned around, went back to the car, hugged herself and cry. That was the last time they saw each other.

It was a poignant scene, and I could not believe that I was once that girl. The rain and the date all brought me back to that piece of memory I thought was gone forever. But it remained, etched in my soul, tatooed on my heart – and a constant reminder of the lessons I have learned. All of which I used in this new journey with the man I swore forever to.

I still could not believe that I managed to survive that heartache and rise once more. I could not decipher how I was able to forget all pain and walk slow and steady steps to a brighter tomorrow. I could not believe that no matter how badly I have been hurt, how I swore not to believe in love anymore, God worked His miracle and sent me the person I would love for the rest of my life. It is unfathomable that despite the fears I had, I managed to take a chance. And I could never be any happier…

© CMN

Advertisements

A few friends gave me the impetus to write about goodbyes and a James Blunt song (Goodbye My Lover) made me think about closures (or the lack of it). For some reasons, the thought co-existed with the burning melancholy soaking my soul, and the pain it reminds me of made me sink deeper.

In my life, I passed by a couple of relationships. I saw the uncanny way love blossoms, blooms, wilts, and dies. I’ve hurt some people, and I have felt pain too. I walked out of some lives – by choice and by force. And I witnessed how one or two walked away from me – without looking back. The experiences I had made me attempt so hard on avoiding the words “goodbye”, “farewell”, and “the end” treating them like plagues. And the pain made me understand why people in relationships tend to do the same.

There was a point in time that I have lost a love so deep that I can literally felt the pain of the break-up creeping in my veins. I nearly destroyed myself at one point in time, thinking that life will never be the same without that person. During that time, I felt like my soul died. I lost my soul on my own labyrinthine maze, and I allowed it to drift on an endless ocean of tears and misery. Until one hand pulled me up and carried me home. It was when I realized the truths about goodbyes.

I learned that goodbyes are designed to complete us and not to break us. The irony of it is that we focus so much on the pain, on the delusion that the person and the love he gave was something worth keeping, and we failed to realize that the gift of separation means that they have done their mission – that is to touch our lives and teach us life’s lessons. I learned that goodbyes is a way of God to make us stronger, make us realize the things that we have to improve on, make us strive harder to become a better person – as He wants us to prepare for that something big that He has in store for us.

Gibran once said that “pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”. And indeed it’s true. The pain cracked me, and made me see the person that I wanted to be, it made me see the person that I am. And thus, the pain allowed me to rise and struggle to become one with myself. I stopped complaining (at least, most of the time) and learned to accept that things are just not going to work the way they are supposed to. And no matter how much we try to keep them, people will play a role in our lives, but they are not always designed to stay.

It is really hard to look at goodbye on that perspective, I know. But that is one esoteric truth on human existence, and we cannot change that. It is the way it is supposed to be.

Closures. I hate the feel of the word. I saw how people craved for this, especially for people who left a relationship hanging. People who had been with open-ended relationships sought it, as they thought they needed it for them to be able to move on. But I think otherwise.

When the person stopped caring, when the person stopped loving, when the person walked away – we should call it the end. They left you hanging because they could never be brave enough to end it themselves. Yes, it would hurt for a while and would make you feel lied to and cheated on, because closures are designed that way – to inflict more suffering and more tension to the human emotions. These people leaving should be enough reason for us to figure out that they have done their part in our self-realization. And we do not need expose the wounds and hurt ourselves in the process. Set them free. Thank the universe that it happened and pick up your broken pieces along with the lessons you should learn out of the experience.

It is not as difficult as it seems. It can happen to you, the way it happened to me. Acceptance. That’s a start. Accept the reality and accept the situation. Admit to yourself that you made mistakes, and correct them by making sure that you would not do it in your next relationships. Whatever you learned from the person, carry it with you with no remorse. When you accepted it, it will be easier for you to set them free. And since they are the source of your pain, removing them in your life would also make the pain go away.

Do not be afraid of closing doors, nor being trapped in one. Closing doors means a conscious effort of being a better person, and opening closed ones is a way of liberating yourself to become a grander version of who you are. Either way, you have to make a move, just like I did. And with that move, I can never be any more than happy.

© CMN

Vulnerable. Fragile.

It seems like no matter how strong-willed or how tough a person is, there would always be a time that one would feel susceptible to melancholy – and even pain. There would be a point in time when all strength seem so surreal, so out of reach. And oftentimes, you just want to break down in one corner, sit still, hug yourself and cry as there is no form of comfort that can make you feel okay, inside and out.

I have those moments, and I guess this is one of them. Everything seems so out of place, everything seems not to work they are supposed to be. I asked myself whether that was my fault or of someone else.

But try as I could, the answer boils down to no other than me. It was my fault that I focused so much on the pain, it was my fault that I gave up the possibility of me being able to mend the broken pieces together. It was my fault that I am sending this melancholy to the universe so I can’t blame it for sending loneliness back to me. But hey, I could not help it. There are a couple of reasons why it is hard to focus to the light…

I am beginning to miss some people – those who mean a lot to me. I miss the time when I still have them with me, I miss the moments when everything seems so right because I have someone to turn to, a shoulder to cry on, and someone who can look at me deeply with neither apathy nor judgement; only compassion. I long for the days when they would just look at me and bore into my soul, offer words of wisdom, a comforting touch, and then everything seemed to be okay. I feel sorry that their re-union with the creator made them lost to me forever.

I terribly miss some special fragments of my soul, friends and some love that I have lost. I long for my friends’ undying support and understanding, the silly laughters, and the responsibility-free acts that we carry out. (Though I know that we all have grown up and there are things that we can never bring back, only reminisce on).  I miss the feeling of young love (yes, the feeling and not the people). I miss romantic interludes, holding hands, staring at each other’s eyes, moonlit walks, and silly musings. I miss the romanticism of a young heart, I really do.

I  look at myself in the mirror and I could not deny the fact that I have gained so much – including flesh, and I look as homely as ever (is it just my vanity that makes me think so, I don’t know). It is depressing to know that I have been working on eliminating some and yet they seem to be etched in my skin that they won’t go away. It pains me to recognize that the dieting, the work-outs, and all seems not to be working. And I hate it when close friends rub it in my face. As if the epitome of being a true woman is to be as skinny and brainless as they seem to me. As if the person within is nothing compared to the person being physically seen.

I look at my paycheck and realize that it is somehow not commeasurate to the amount of work that I am doing. My progress seems so slow, my career seems to be so stuck. And I still feel terrible being held responsible for other’s negligence, of others’ refusal to do their share of the job. I feel bad that I am taking ownership of everything I could, while some others shrug their shoulders of, causing our downfall.

Yeah, I know. Neale Donald Walsch said one time: “Happiness is a state of mind, all states of mind reproduce themselves”. I guess I just have to turn the table and look at things differently. What I needed to do is get out of this melancholy crap, and send a positive thought to the universe so that it can send it back to me three-fold. Just let me hang on.

© CMN

The 48 Laws of Power
by Robert Greene and Joost Elffer

Law 1 – Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior.  In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity.  Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2 – Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.  They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove.  In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.  If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law 3 – Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense.  Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

Law 4 – Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control.  Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike.  Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less.  The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5 – So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power.  Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides.  Make your reputation unassailable.  Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen.  Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations.  Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6 – Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing.  Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion.  Stand out.  Be conspicuous, at all cost.  Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

Law 7 – Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause.  Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed.  In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered.  Never do yourself what others can do for you.

Law 8 – Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.  It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process.  Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack.  You hold the cards.

Law 9 – Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory:  The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion.  It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word.  Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10 – Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.  You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster.  The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.  Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 11 – Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted.  The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have.  Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear.  Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Law 12 – Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones.  Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people.  Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will.  A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13 – When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.  He will find a way to ignore you.  Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion.  He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Law 14 – Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical.  Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead.  Better still: Play the spy yourself.  In polite social encounters, learn to probe.  Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions.  There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Law 15 – Crush your Enemy Totally

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely.  (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.)  If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out.  More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation:  The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge.  Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

Law 16 – Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

Law 17 – Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions.  Your predictability gives them a sense of control.  Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable.  Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves.  Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Law 18 – Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.  A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.  Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle.  You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Law 19 – Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way.  Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge.  They are wolves in lambs’ clothing.  Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

Law 20 – Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides.  Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.  By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

Law 21 – Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons.  The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.  Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Law 22 – Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead.  Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane.  Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first.  By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him.  Make surrender a tool of power.

Law 23 – Concentrate Your Forces

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point.  You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time.  When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

Law 24 – Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity.  He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner.  Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Law 25 – Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Law 26 – Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds.  Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Law 27 – Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something.  Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow.  Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking.  Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf.  In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

Law 28 – Enter Action with Boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it.  Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution.  Timidity is dangerous:  Better to enter with boldness.  Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity.  Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

Law 29 – Plan All the Way to the End

The ending is everything.  Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others.  By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop.  Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

Law 30 – Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease.  All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed.  When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more.  Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions.  Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

Law 31 – Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice:  Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets.  Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose.  Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose.  Put them on the horns of a dilemma:  They are gored wherever they turn.

Law 32 – Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant.  Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.  Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert:  Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

Law 33 – Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall.  That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure.  Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

Law 34 – Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Law 35 – Master the Art of Timing

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time.  Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.  Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power.  Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

Law 36 – Disdain Things you cannot have:  Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility.  The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it.  It is sometimes best to leave things alone.  If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it.  The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

Law 37 –  Create Compelling Spectacles

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them.  Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence.  Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.

Law 38 – Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them.  They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior.  It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 39 – Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive.  You must always stay calm and objective.  But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.  Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

Law 40 – Despise the Free Lunch

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation.  What has worth is worth paying for.  By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit.  It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence.  Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

Law 41 – Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after.  If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them.  Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making:  Establish your own name and identity by changing course.  Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Law 42 – Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill.  If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence.  Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable.  Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them.  Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.

Law 43 = Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you.  You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction.  A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.  And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.  Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear.  Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

Law 44 – Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy.  The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact.  By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.  Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.

Law 45 – Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit.  Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt.  If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things.  If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Law 46 – Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses.  Envy creates silent enemies.  It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.  Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Law 47 – Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril.  In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat.  Do not allow success to go to your head.  There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning.  Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48 – Assume Formlessness

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack.  Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move.  Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed.  The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order.  Everything changes.

~~~

I often wonder what people at the top thinks, see, and feel. I often feel amazed as I see them act without emotions, treat people with apathy, and disregard any other factor aside from what needs to be done and when it should be done. Our society is being run by such leaders, and I wonder what brought them to the top. I remember having this on my email so I sorted through my files and I am reposting this for the world to see.

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift.She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident..
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after
lunch.’
Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5


A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..


Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, warm and happy,
it’s best to keep
your mouth shut!

~~~~

I got this in a from of e-mail and for some uncanny reasons, I could not help myself from posting it. Simple things really can teach great lessons.

“Why does love hurts so bad?”

I got this as a text message from a friend and it made me smile. Maybe because I have asked the question myself, or maybe because I heard people ask the same question more than a dozen times. The question feels like cold water trickling down my skin – the feeling it yields is so strange and so familiar. I myself haven’t found the exact answer, but after all the love I had and lost, I had certain reasons why.

1. When we love, we expect to be loved the same.

When we enter a relationship, we start to care about the other, alter our behavior in our attempt to keep the other feeling special and loved. We start to do things out of the ordinary just to send across the message that the other is a significant part of our lives. We get so accustomed to providing that kind of treatment until we burn out and start looking for the same. And when we do, things get more complicated.We start to expect that the other would do the things we do for them, we expect them to alter their behavior just the same – for us to have an assurance that we are loved and appreciated. Expecting then becomes demanding. We demand that the other allot this much in the relationship without considering the fact that people show love differently. And then you would start thinking that the other cannot reciprocate the love that you’re giving (at least not in the way you want him/her to).

We must realize that people doesn’t express love in similar ways. We must understand that whatever the other does for us, though sometimes we feel like it’s not enough, is a sign of their love for us. In the end, it’s not what they do that hurts us, it is our frustration that does. We are frustrated because we expect that they would change for us.

2.We love with all our hearts.

Love the other with all our hearts and never expect anything in return. We all think that it is the right thing to do, but it’s not. We need to understand that when we love someone, we must save some for ourselves.

Do not give all the love you have so that you can keep your concept of love, and like a tree, let it grow fruits and share those fruits of love with someone. You must love yourself enough if in case things fall apart. Because when love fails and you didn’t leave anything for yourself, it is certain that you would end up feeling a certain void, a vortex that would eventually suck you up in pits of oblivion. If, however, you kept some of that love, you would have something to start with, and when the imaginary wounds heal, something to share again.

3. We live in fear, and we stay away from that which haunts us the most.

It may be because of past experiences that we hold back from any chance at love. You are afraid that things would happen one more time, you might end up hurt or defeated in the end. Believe me, I have been through this. At one point, a seemingly perfect love would pass and make you the happiest person alive, only to kill you once it ends.

This makes it so hard to try again when there is a chance. Your fears eat you up and makes you deny the feeling, and in the process deny yourself and of your capacity to love.Pain comes in self-denial. Love is not just about holding hands, candlelit dinners, and wine and roses. It is also about taking risks. And the more you stay away from it, the more it will haunt you – the more you wonder what it feels like to be with the person.

4.We always think we are irreplaceable.

When the relationship ends, either you two remain friends or not. If it is the former, you would eventually follow each other’s lives. In the process, there is a small portion of you that would think that he/she would be unable to see someone better than you. But when the time comes that he/she found someone else, jealousy eats you up from the inside. You may say you’re happy for him/her, but your self-worth will come gnawing at your pride.

What you have to do is to accept the fact that you two are meant to be with someone else. You may have played roles in each other’s lives that may be hard to understand, you may have taught the person life lessons and he/she might have done the same, but in the end you must realize that he/she was an instrument God used to prepare you for the next one.

5. We are scared of letting go.

Instead of explaining, I’ll use this analogy: Love is like a rock, you find it pretty and you hold on too it so tight that it would begin stabbing your hands. Then you look at it, torn between letting it go or holding on to it. It looks so pretty on your hands so you decided to hold on to it, allowing it to stab you one more time, and let you lose more blood.

Can you not let go of that rock and let the wound heal in time? Because if you do, you would be able to cleanse that rock and identify the sharp edges that wounded you, so that next time you find another rock, you would know the type to look for. And also, the next time you hold on to a rock, you’ll know how to hold on to it tight enough so it would not fall, and gentle enough so that it would not stab you.

I wish I was able to learn these things a couple of years back, so I would have spared myself some pain. But I realized that my past experiences were strategically designed to prepare me for what lies ahead, and made me value what I have now. Freedom from expectations, selflessness, fear, narcissism, and nostalgia made all the difference. Love is beautiful and we are fated to savor it.

© CMN

~~~

Let me also share a post I stumbled on in here… One from Udi the Psychic. It reminded me of Gibran and his book that I read when I was sixteen, and it is something that reminded me that love is not about the romanticism of it.