Archive for November, 2010

The original poem is written in Filipino (or tagalog) and has been sitting on an old notepad for almost three years now. I remember writing this back in February 2008, on that fateful day that my gran – the one who loved and cared for me the most- died of heart attack. It was a sudden, painless death for her. And it was a day I would never forget...

In English.

The nurses walk to and fro,
One shouts…
And the other.
Their rantings and ramblings deafening,
Slowly killing the frenzied pumping of my chest.
The man in white, walking restlessly.
His sighs,
Somehow calming my cold soul at ease.

I love you. And I may have not shown it.
Thanks. I may not have said it.
I offer you wholeheartedly,
In the hands of the Great Creator.

I’m holding
Your seemingly frozen hands.
Your heart crying, slowing down bit by bit.
I am here.
I would never leave.
You close your eyes.
Sleep soundly.
Be free…

You will live in my memories, forever.

I love you.

In Filipino

Nagkakagulo ang mga nars,
Sigaw dito…
Sigaw doon.
Nakabibingi ang ulaw ng kanilang mga tinig,
na pumapaslang sa kabog ng aking dibdib.
Palakad-lakad yaong taong maputi,
Paroo’t parito, tuliro…
Ang kanyang buntung-hininga
Ang siyang humahakab sa malamig kong kalul’wa.

Mahal kita. Hindi ko man naipadama.
Salamat. Hindi ko man nasambit.
Buong puso kitang iniaalay,
Sa kamay ng Dakilang Lumikha.

Hawak ko,
Ang mala-yelong kamay mo.
Mahina na ang paghiyaw ng iyong lugmok na puso.
Nandirito lang ako.
Hindi kita iiwan.
Ipikit mo na ang iyong mga mata.
Humimbing.
Lumaya ka.

Mabubuhay ka sa aking alaala.
Mahal kita.

© CMN

————–

It has been countless months since the last time I heard their voice, saw their smiles, and shared their hugs. It is so long ago, and yet, I could still feel them near. Constantly watching, guiding, and shedding some divine light for me not to lose my way. When I am sad, I often close my eyes, and relive the memories, replaying my past piece by piece. No matter how long ago they are, they never fail to give me that kick, the kick that sets my eyes in tears.

After hearing a couple of deaths within the month, I realized how fragile life is. I pondered on how short life is. In my lifetime, I watched people come and go, I’ve gone through the hell of seeing someone you love and care about deeply leaving their mortal form and joining the Lord above.  After seeing my mother, father, and grandmom died, of all people, I should know how painful it s losing someone.

Yet again, life moves on. Trust that things happen for a reason. Those reasons may be hard to understand but it’s always God’s way of making us better and stronger people.

(To Tj, if you’re reading this. Be strong. God is good and He will never forsake you. Trust that it is His way of making you stronger. No matter what happens, I am just here.)

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I look at you in the eye and I soak in your empty stare,
I find myself in your cold embrace, leaving my wounds bare.
I kissed your lips, it kissed me back,
But there’s something stopping you,  a force holds you back.

In that sweet short kiss, I lay my soul on the line,
Convincing myself that things would one day be fine.
There’s some telling me I should just walk away,
But with you, beside you, is where my heart craves to stay.

You turned around and walked to the door,
Not looking back, not showing a bit of remorse.
You walked away in the comfort of the night sky,
Leaving me shattered, leaving me with nothing but Goodbye.

It could have been easier, if we hadn’t made the mistake,
It could have been wiser, if my heart you did not take.
But things were done, words were spoken,
I lost it, you have won, my heart and soul are now broken.

I may ask you to hate me, I may ask you not to care,
But I wont regret anything, cause I chased the moments and took the dares.
Your heart might not be mine, and you I will always miss,
Take away my heart with you, I’ll live in the memory of your cold kiss

——-

Thank you for being the best and worst of me. Thank you for two days, thank you for the honesty. I can never say thank you enough to the person who made me smile at one time… I hope that despite my craziness, friends we will always be.

© CMN

I know this one is long overdue, yet again, I want to share a one-of-a-kind travel with you, my avid readers. Maybe, this is so far the farthest place I traveled to, so the excitement and the enthusiasm of sharing my experience is evident.

First, allow me to tell you about Bohol. Bohol is an island province of the Philippines located in the Central Visayas region, consisting of Bohol Island and 75 minor surrounding islands. Its capital is Tagbilaran City. With a land area of 4,117.3 square kilometers (1,589.7 sq mi) and a coastline 261 kilometers (162 mi) long, Bohol is the tenth largest island of the Philippines. To the west of Bohol is Cebu, to the northeast is the island of Leyte and to the south, across the Bohol Sea is Mindanao (from Wikipedia). Now, see below for my adventure.

It was Saturday morning, at 7 AM when we reached Tagbilaran City, Bohol’s capital. I was happy to see the the sun shining so bright (maybe I missed it due to the nature of my work) and happy to step on some other place. We then went ahead and met up with our contact who is supposed to take us to a road trip across all tourist spots in Bohol.

First stop was the site for the famous Blood Compact. The view was amazing, and the statues were cool. Too bad I was not able to take a solo snap of me with those “monsters”. What followed (in the order I could not remember) are visits to Baclayon Church, the butterfly farm, overlooking chocolate hills, tarsier farm, man-made rainforest, the hanging bridges, lunch at Loboc’s floating restaurants, a visit to the largest snake in captivity and Hinagdanan Cave.

 

Random photos taken during my first day in Bohol. Here are the landscapes taken from the site of Blood Compact, some pretty butterflies, and the world’s smallest primate, the Tarsier. You will also see me in my favorite dragon shirt, marveling at the captivating view.

That is pretty much what transpired during the first day of the trip. However, I want to highlight some places that I super like -grins-. We went to a church in Baclayon, Bohol. Which is considered to be one of the oldest churches in Bohol. It literally gave me goosebumps. Maybe it was because the church is too old and the air is chilly inside, or maybe because of the images on its walls. Maybe it is because of the effect given off by its stained glass, or the life-size statues of saints, of the Virgin Mary, and of Jesus. While I was there, I could say that the goosebumps were also because of the fact that I recognized a presence in there, the feeling that God is just there sitting beside you as you pray…

Photo of me posing beside the signage, of the altar illuminated by the stained glasses, and the exteriors of the church. Notice the markings on one of the posts that seems like the face of Jesus. Boholanos claim that it was a natural occurence, some believe that its a miracle.

Another place is the spot of the famous wonder, the Chocolate Hills. I personally was amazed at how beautiful it was to be on top looking down on it. They are like little Hershey’s kisses clumped up from a distance. (So this is where the idea of peanut kisses came from? Well, it’s just a thought.) While in there, I realized that there are things that are better off seen and felt from a distance.

The Chocolate Hills of Bohol.

And who would forget the experience of being able to share a delicious lunch with your family on top of a “balsa” floating on top of a river. I marveled at the beauty of the trees, the calm of the waters, and was overwhelmed at how rich the culture of my people is.

Lunch afloat Loboc's waters.

That pretty much sums up my day 1. Next day, we woke up really early since it is our water adventure. I had a lot of fun walking barefoot in the sand, watching the sun rise, and feeling the cool breeze kiss my cheeks. It was a nice, stress-free feeling. We rode the small boats, or “banca”, and sailed across Bohol’s Sea. We had a stopover tho, as we went ahead and tried our luck to see dolphins playing and yes, I saw a bunch. And then went to our destination, Balicasag Island. I had my very first snorkeling experience, and it was FUNtastic. I was able to feed little fishes in my hand and watched sea organisms chase each other, play, and thrive. After that, we went back to the island and shared a seafood-filled brunch. We then went ahead and spent the afternoon swimming on a secluded island, enjoying the view, and the waters. I was able to catch some hermit crabs, starfishes, sea urchins and a lot more. It was a fun day. Next leg was spending time buying souvenirs, having myself inked (henna tattoo rocks!), and having dinner with the family. It was awesome, eating with people you love, in the beach, on a table lit by candlelight and moonlight.

Random photos of Bohol's beaches.

Day 3. Going home. I was sad that I was leaving one of the most beautiful places in the country. But I promised myself that I would come back for more. It may not be the same place, but I would go somewhere again, one day.

© CMN

I was talking to a bunch of people about zodiac signs and I realized that I am really a split individual. See below to find out why…

 

According to the Chinese calendar, I am an ox…

Years 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021, 2033

Ox personality traits Still waters run deep, as anyone who has observed an Ox will tell you.

People born in the Year of the Ox are the supremely self-assured, and as a result are noted for inspiring confidence in others. Generally patient and thoughtful, they measure their words, and will speak clearly and concisely often when it matters most.

Born to lead, Ox people can be quite stubborn — but also stubbornly loyal to those they love. However, when opposed, their fierce tempers are legendary. So always follow this very wise advice : never cross an Ox!

Generally placid and easy-going on the outside, the Ox can be very dogmatic. There are no gray areas evident within their narrow scope of vision, and they often only see things as good or bad. Therefore, they are never easily persuaded by a clever argument. Possessing an excellent memory, the Ox can often recall verbatim a conversation weeks or months after it has occurred.

Their physical stamina combined with their mental alertness is a distinct advantage when it comes to completing any task at hand. In fact, Oxen can often be seen patiently working away … long after everyone else has dropped from sheer exhaustion!

Ox people are also generally good with their hands, and together with sterling leadership abilities are often successful as doctors or surgeons, construction managers, army generals or business leaders.

 

According to the Western Calendar, I am a lion.

 

Tiger personality traits One of the most dynamic signs in the Chinese zodiac, Tigers are by turns fascinating, commanding, and exasperating.

They are patient but short-tempered, calm but rebellious, petty but noble, fearsome but affectionate, free spirits but fiercely territorial.

With their many & various personality traits, Tigers are also – not surprisingly – noted for a marked reluctance to make up their minds.

What makes them magnetic and commanding figures is the absolute loyalty and affection they show for those they love. With a natural air of authority, Tigers easily earn the respect and admiration of those who love them in return.

While domesticated Tigers are quite happy among familiar surroundings, they are just as apt to fly off on an adventure at a moment’s notice. Unpredictable and emotional, they can become quite fearless when standing up for themselves or others, and often hold definitive views on how to right the wrongs of society.

At work, Tigers show natural leadership ability, but prefer to work alone. They usually excel as business managers, social activists, explorers, or travel writers.

 

And I realized that I am a complicated mix of both…

(source: http://www.chiff.com/home_life/holiday/chinese-zodiac.htm)