Posts Tagged ‘quotations’

I started writing poetry in my mother tongue, eventually in english when I felt comfortable. I have written a lot in the past, and since blogging wasn’t a thing then, those pieces of paper where they were written got lost due to me constantly moving.

I have been checking old blogs and I saw these two poems I have written in Tagalog (or Filipino) when I was around 17. I am posting it here so that my Filipino readers can take a glimpse on the rawness of my writing.

Enjoy!

(1) E. R.
Nagkakagulo ang mga nars,
Sigaw dito…
Sigaw doon.

Nakabibingi ang ulaw ng kanilang mga tinig,
na pumapaslang sa kabog ng aking dibdib.
Palakad-lakad yaong taong maputi,
Paroo’t parito, tuliro…

Ang kanyang buntung-hininga
Ang siyang humahakab sa malamig kong kalul’wa.

Mahal kita. Hindi ko man naipadama.
Salamat. Hindi ko man nasambit.
Buong puso kitang iniaalay,
Sa kamay ng Dakilang Lumikha.

Hawak ko,
Ang mala-yelong kamay mo.
Mahina na ang paghiyaw ng iyong lugmok na puso.
Nandirito lang ako. Hindi kita iiwan.
Ipikit mo na ang iyong mga mata.
Humimbing.
Lumaya ka.

Mabubuhay ka sa aking alaala.
Mahal kita.

(2) Adik Sa Kape
Namulat ang mata sa nakabubulag na liwanag
Isang bagong umaga ang inahin sa aking hapag
Subalit ang lungkot ng kahapon at lamig ng gabi
Ay nakabakas pa din sa puso’t kalul’wa kong sawi

Isang tasang kape ang pumawi sa nadarmang kalungkutan
Ang init nito’y nanuot sa kasuluk-sulukan ng kalamnan
Pinawi ang lamig na nadrama ng kaluluwa
Animo’y naroon akong muli at kayakap ka

Ang bawat higop ay isang milya palapit sa iyo
Sapagkat bawat lagok ay katumbas ng apoy ng mga palad mo
At unti-unti’y nagbabalik ako sa hapong iyon kung kailan unang nadama
Ng puso kong hangal ang kakaibang pagsinta

Matamis… Tulad ng ating unang halik, unang yakap
Kung saan kakaibang ligaya ang aking nalasap
Ang sensasyong kakaiba na idinulot noon
Di kailanman mawawaglit lumipas man ang daangtaon

Mapait… Tulad ng mga luhang ibinuhos ko paglisan mo
Tulad ng pagsambit sa pangalan mo, at paghiyaw ng puso ko
Subalit sa kabila ng pait naroon ang pag-ibig na di mamamatay
Dumulog man ako sa kabilang buhay

Kasabay ng pagbalik ng ating mga alaala
Patuloy kitang gugunitain, aking sinta
Mauubos na ang kape sa aking tasa
Makapiling ka lamang, ako’y iinom pa ng isa

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The past is always a fragment of who we are. It is a portion of ourselves that helped us become the person we are in the present. It never fails to bring out a gamut of human emotions, good and bad. No matter how much we deny it, we find solace in it, a calming feeling.

I had a chance on seeing someone this week and she gave me a box that I left when I once lived with her. A box that is so plain and boring, a bit dusty as it was kept in her closet for more than six years. I recognized it and it bore my name in my handwriting, so I took it from her and opened it. And I was surprised as to what I saw.

There infront of me are letters given to me by random people, an old box of chocolates, some paper flowers, old movie and concert tickets, little ribbons, small notes, and a couple of other little items. I was surprised that she kept it, even more surprised that I had this habit of collecting whatever is given to me, big or small. I was stunned that indeed, I am a person of great sentimentality. Or am I just a prisoner of my past, like what I always had been?

I took the box home, and suddenly found myself reading through small notes and letters, checking each chocolate wrapper, looking at each folded flower, appreciating small poems sent to me… all while walking down an alley of my past. I suddenly felt like I am lighting up one dark alley of the past, an alley whose streetlights were once shut down, by the lonely soul in me. I find myself playing memories in my head, reliving each moment spent with friends and other people close to me.

The feeling is strange. I suddenly miss these old friends and began to wonder where they are right now. I began to think of how kismet brought us together, and how changes, chances, decisions, and opportunities made us all drift apart. There is a small fragment of my soul that feels happy because I know that in one way or another, I was able to experience the bliss of pure friendship and there is that much people who once cared for me and appreciated who and what I am – the friends I lost in time. I am happy that some even appreciated who and what I have become – the friends I still keep with me. And mostly, I am happy for the lessons I have learned in all that decade, lessons that molded me and made me the person I am now.

I was asked as to what I would do to it, and I decided to burn the box. Right now, the mementos are not important. I do not need reminders, I do not need to keep items just to keep the memories alive. The memories are already here with me, etched in my soul, never will they fade. I will always remember each face inside that box, each memory, each lesson learned. Afterall, what matters is not what you did together, but what you LEARNED together.

To the person who kept these for me, thank you. To each face inside the box of memories, you will always be remembered. To my friends who stayed, you are all appreciated… I will then take a step back to reality with a smile on my face with these new discoveries.

© CMN

The Star Poet Award for Week 37

 

The sun shall never compare,
to the warmth soaking in her skin.
His probing eyes gently staring at her,
drowning all her fears within.
His touch, his sweet smile,
telling her everything will be okay;
Like it has always been,
an eternity ago.

His hand perfectly fitting hers,
clasping hers.
And she knows that the battle has been finally won.
All the years she keeps on running away
are finally over.
He is right there, infront of her,
within her reach.

His lips touching hers in a union so surreal,
locking himself in.
Teasing.
Tasting.
Her inhibitions slowly fading,
her pride, her fears all are gone.
She stopped fighting her ideal bonds,
fearlessly succumbing to her mortal shards.
Feeling.
Breathing him in.
Losing herself.

Just then, the dream starts vanishing,
reality slowly sinking in…

He is sleeping peacefully in her arms,
eyes closed.
His chest heaving rhythmically rising and falling.
Arms enveloping her.
Limbs wrapping her in a deadly embrace.
And she is just staring.
Thinking.
Taking all in.
Keeping each detail in her memory,
preserving each moment in her heart and soul.
Knowing it would soon be over.

And so it is.

The hourglass is almost empty now,
she is on her half-waking dream.
He began to walk away,
closing every door behind him.
Taking steps away,
away, away from her.
Not looking back.

He got what he always wanted,
her heart and soul.
She got what she always deserved,
her death.

He is lost to her forever,
while her name, he can no longer remember.
She is left alone,
on hollow corners of her memory.

Slowly dying,
tears falling.
Facing her bitter end.

© CMN

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was idly sitting, pondering on moments that was once lost but regained, things that was once ignored but noticed, dares that were once temptations but taken. I look back on the images that plague my soul, conversations that ring in my ears, and the scent that crippled my human form. I cannot help but walk down that dark alley of memories, once sweet and inviting, now hollow and sordid. And I felt like I needed a good cry, I badly needed one. Just to empty my heart and soul, just to liberate myself from the fangs of the past, just for me to move forward.

Then I think of the things we did and promises we made, of parting songs and farewell words. I looked on how things are now. And that’s when it hit me. That’s when reality bit me.

Author’s Notes: As always, thank you, Jingle for keeping me going. You and the rest of the poets in the rally makes me inspired each time I visit. Here’s an entry for week 38.

 

It is indeed melancholy that is cradling me right now. I don’t understand but for some reasons, the URLs of some old blogs came rushing in my head slowly swallowing me whole. I decided to check on them, and was surprised when I saw these poems written for me by someone from my past. As I read each word, old feelings overtake me, and I suddenly find myself crying in pain, knowing that the man behind these words is lost to me forever. The poems bring back painful memories, fragments of a happy past, of a love so deep and true, that I wasted.

(Note: I do not own any of these poems.)

~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts of Love
The sunset has faded once more,
Gone are its radiant hues
That warmed the end of my day.
The darkness of night envelopes me.
The air is still, the quietness of evening deafening.

I sit and ponder the past and question the future.
Memories, thoughts, flooding my mind.
Just like a pond when a stone is cast upon it,
So are the rippling effects borne by my heart and soul.

The innocence of a child’s daydreams
Now are transformed into a woman’s world of
reality.
For so long I guarded my thoughts and feelings
Keeping them locked behind closed doors,
Allowing no one in.
You entered my world and became part of it.
I learned to trust someone as would a child,
And in doing so gave you the key.
A key that unlocked privacy secured for so long.
Fantasies became reality, untapped passions
unbridled.
A tenderness and gentleness I’d never known
Warmed and comforted me.
Finally I knew what it meant to be a woman.

With the dawn of each new day I am reminded
Of the warmth, the closeness we share.

An Angel Cared
Maddening, swirling, tumultuous thoughts give my heart no peace
Muscles tensing, heart’s wrenching, longing for release
Walled off from emotions, numbed to dreams of bliss
Frantically grasping for a hold, sliding further into the abyss
All color drains from my world, subtle shades of gray permeate
Broken shards cast illusions, hope falsely propagates
A former warrior, battle tested, I frantically disguise my fears
Resolve dissolves, nervousness abounds as my refuge disappears
As autumn’s cycle nears an end, the ice begins to advance
Stealthily attacking, patiently awaiting for a perfect chance
A frozen heart, desolate and bare, obscures all that would try to see
The warmth reflected, gives off no heat, illusions mask reality
On hands and knees, mumbling pleas, I search for sanctuary
To glimpse beyond this desolation, to a world of possibility
Eyes closed, perceptions peeked, it hovers beyond my reach
A whispered supplication, alone, these barriers I cannot breach
A gentle touch, delicate and warm, I feel her reach for me
Chasing back the shadows, an angel, cradles my sanity
Relaxing, drifting, smiling, I find comfort in her embrace
My savior and redeemer, a sassy smile upon her face
I close my eyes and search within, I’ll trust my instincts this time
I feel a heart of gold as her passion’s unfold, a beauty so sublime
Peace radiates from her body, a warmth soaks into my soul
A smile reflects a love so deep, my heart I cannot control
Illusions shimmer and are gone, my world is bright and true
Spring marches forth with determination as my life begins anew
To pass beyond is what I sought, but dreams do not compare
To the reality of this wonderland graced by an angel so fair
Dreams shared, rendezvous dared, we joined together as one
The bonds of my enslavement have been lifted, my battle finally won
No regrets can be found, my reflections bring no remorse
Love that binds, as the tendrils climbed lead me down this course
Peace and comfort fill my soul where once only chaos dared
Now love emanates, peace radiates, because an angel cared

As Days Flew By
The very first time I saw you,
Was special how we met.
You took me by complete surprise.
I knew my heart was set.

As days flew by, we talked again,
But you never seemed to care.
I tried my best to help you out,
By a favor here, or a favor there.

Although I made a fast approach,
Our friendship grew and grew.
I realized how deep I cared,
But the feeling I felt was new.

In time I became attached to you.
From a hug, I wouldn’t let go.
I soon saw how close we were,
And the feeling was good to know.

For you, I wrote sweet letters and songs.
You were on my mind all day.
The thought of sleeping was nowhere near,
Unless I knew you were okay.

It hit me then, what I was in –
A unique and precious love.
For the person I said was only mine,
Was an angel sent from above.

The minutes without you turned into days,
And the seconds with you flew fast.
I could only wish to see you more,
And make each moment last.

The times I spent with you,
Were what made my heart complete.
I knew one thing for sure,
Without you, my future was obsolete.

And now, we love just the same,
As it doubles day by day.
I stare deep into your precious eyes,
Yet I’m still speechless to what I should say.

With you, I’m in a whole new world.
You bring out the best in me.
It’s hard to picture you not there,
When you taught me who to be.

Yes, the road ahead gets hard,
When things may only seem rough.
But because you and I try so much,
We’ll stay strong and get by tough.

Though problems may lie ahead someday,
And either of us could be right;
I promise to always be by your side,
And I promise my heart, so hold it tight.

And so, each night, beside my bed,
When there’s only bright stars to see;
I pray that we may never give up,
And will always remain you and me.

Where is My Lovely One?
With her smile and swing of neck,
back – look as goodbye,
steals the evening joytrail.
Like a plane in the sky,
to holiday, summer away.
A clear blue sky
in the summer evening.

Where does she move and how?
When she goes to someone else
does she move like that too?
or do they see that.

It is a lovely thing to fall,
fall, fall in love.
in love with a girl,
enchanted lips of smiles,
and happy eyes of light,
not even Anthony saw in
Cleopatra this shine.

Twenty seven kisses,
for twenty seven days,
of this months meeting,
in her arms, empty and emptied.

Twenty seven roses for my love.
Love, a prism of crystal light
a rainbow through a glass
refracting colour light, bright.

Ah my lovely one, .
of twenty seven kisses,
of twenty seven roses,
and will she think of me?

Will she think of me
after the perfume waft has faded,
and I a shuffling slow breathless
and no longer handsome.

Will they be pressed twist pages
where this poem rests,
close to our breast.

For love is not foolish,
nor do roses fade.

The Proposal
A soft breeze gently rustles
the golden leaves that have fallen
scattered about,
below the twisted grey branches
of the tree
from which we used to swing.

Our names, carved by the hand
of this tenderhearted young boy,
still echo love,
of youth and of each other.

I now take your hand in mine,
and beneath the shadow of this tree,
a testament and reminder of our love,
I ask that we never allow it to fade
into the grayness of those limbs
or to dry and crumble like the leaves
that have fallen to the ground.

But that we allow it to grow
ever upward, and to be strong,
as the trunk of the great tree itself
that bears the evidence of this great love,
which beneath its arms began.

Just There
Where you were,
I did not see you.

So close to me,
but yet so veiled.

Quietly you waited,
upon my invitations;
but still, somehow,
I failed to note

of you, yearning
to be with me,
but finding
just

a void.

So sadly,
you retreated;
bowed, dejected.

Finally when I knew
of you, your devotion,
so foolishly I did feel,
like a simpleton.

For I had looked
so very hard for you,
up/down/everywhere.

but I just did not looked
clear, in front of me,
where you were

. . . just there.

– RKAM

The original poem is written in Filipino (or tagalog) and has been sitting on an old notepad for almost three years now. I remember writing this back in February 2008, on that fateful day that my gran – the one who loved and cared for me the most- died of heart attack. It was a sudden, painless death for her. And it was a day I would never forget...

In English.

The nurses walk to and fro,
One shouts…
And the other.
Their rantings and ramblings deafening,
Slowly killing the frenzied pumping of my chest.
The man in white, walking restlessly.
His sighs,
Somehow calming my cold soul at ease.

I love you. And I may have not shown it.
Thanks. I may not have said it.
I offer you wholeheartedly,
In the hands of the Great Creator.

I’m holding
Your seemingly frozen hands.
Your heart crying, slowing down bit by bit.
I am here.
I would never leave.
You close your eyes.
Sleep soundly.
Be free…

You will live in my memories, forever.

I love you.

In Filipino

Nagkakagulo ang mga nars,
Sigaw dito…
Sigaw doon.
Nakabibingi ang ulaw ng kanilang mga tinig,
na pumapaslang sa kabog ng aking dibdib.
Palakad-lakad yaong taong maputi,
Paroo’t parito, tuliro…
Ang kanyang buntung-hininga
Ang siyang humahakab sa malamig kong kalul’wa.

Mahal kita. Hindi ko man naipadama.
Salamat. Hindi ko man nasambit.
Buong puso kitang iniaalay,
Sa kamay ng Dakilang Lumikha.

Hawak ko,
Ang mala-yelong kamay mo.
Mahina na ang paghiyaw ng iyong lugmok na puso.
Nandirito lang ako.
Hindi kita iiwan.
Ipikit mo na ang iyong mga mata.
Humimbing.
Lumaya ka.

Mabubuhay ka sa aking alaala.
Mahal kita.

© CMN

————–

It has been countless months since the last time I heard their voice, saw their smiles, and shared their hugs. It is so long ago, and yet, I could still feel them near. Constantly watching, guiding, and shedding some divine light for me not to lose my way. When I am sad, I often close my eyes, and relive the memories, replaying my past piece by piece. No matter how long ago they are, they never fail to give me that kick, the kick that sets my eyes in tears.

After hearing a couple of deaths within the month, I realized how fragile life is. I pondered on how short life is. In my lifetime, I watched people come and go, I’ve gone through the hell of seeing someone you love and care about deeply leaving their mortal form and joining the Lord above.  After seeing my mother, father, and grandmom died, of all people, I should know how painful it s losing someone.

Yet again, life moves on. Trust that things happen for a reason. Those reasons may be hard to understand but it’s always God’s way of making us better and stronger people.

(To Tj, if you’re reading this. Be strong. God is good and He will never forsake you. Trust that it is His way of making you stronger. No matter what happens, I am just here.)

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift.She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident..
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after
lunch.’
Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5


A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..


Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, warm and happy,
it’s best to keep
your mouth shut!

~~~~

I got this in a from of e-mail and for some uncanny reasons, I could not help myself from posting it. Simple things really can teach great lessons.

1. Sometimes, not having what you want can make you happy.

2. The end justify the means. You sometimes have to learn the hard way. Afterall, life is a struggle for existence.

3. There are cases when efforts are put to waste. Therefore, the law of conservation of energy is nothing but a theory.

4. Love is always better than justice. You can never be unfair to people you love.

5. I ironically admire people who don’t have conscience. I wish I can be as selfish as they are.

6. You’ll never know who to trust. Some may smile at you, but you’ll never know what they are thinking.

7. For ignorance, we have education. But there is no cure for stupidity.

8. Two reasons why people never learn – either they CAN’T or they REFUSE to.

9. In life there are two choices – to swallow the system or be swallowed by the system.

10. I can never defy conscience and reason over personal gain. I find peace in equality.

11. There are things that you can never change. We can, however, change the way we feel about them.

12. You have to create a stir to know the true colors of people around you.

13. The true measure of man is not by what he looks or what he wears. It is on how he THINKS.

14. Power – It can make the best or worst out of you.

15. We all must know the rules, so we would know how to break them properly.

16. There is no greater glory than fighting within the rules. A dirty fight is a fight of fools.

17. Learn to accept that some people use power and connections to prove themselves. Instead of being mad at them, pity them.

18. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that respect is something earned, not imposed. It is not something that comes along with a title. Don’t expect people to respect you if you don’t know how to show respect for others.

19. People come and people go. So remember to treat people around you with care, for the way they see you and the way they feel about you is something that they will keep. Remember that God sees you the way people see you.

20. Things happen for a reason. The more painful things are, the more you’ll learn the lesson.

© CMN